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  • Writer's pictureLeola

7 Steps to Create Your Own Tantra Date Night

Prioritizing presence and pleasure is all it takes to take your relationship to the next level. Whether you’re in a long term partnership, dating, or cultivating self-love, I recommend setting aside 3-5 hours once a week for intimate exploration and expression. Here’s my tried and true recipe for tantric bliss:

  1. Set the scene. Light candles, set out your favorite toys, create a nest on the ground, make a plate for fruit and chocolate, put on some sexy music, open a bottle of wine, or boil a pot of tea. Try to involve all five senses in your “temple”.

  2. Start with some movement. I suggest light yoga or dance to warm up the body and let go of any lingering dense or stressful energy. Both yoga and dance incorporate the three basic tools of tantra: sound, breath, and movement.

  3. Intentional Connection. Eye Gaze and open. Sit across from one another, or in yab yum position, with the masculine partner’s legs crossed and the feminine partner sitting in his laps with her legs wrapped around his torso. Take a moment to connect with uninterrupted eye contact. Then share a few words with eachother… drop in and open up! Share your appreciation for one another, voice any fears, speak into your desires. Set an intention for the energy you’ll be cultivating this practice. What are you looking to call in individually and/or as a couple? If you are doing this ritual solo, consider eye gazing with yourself in a mirror and journaling.

  4. Bring the body online. Each partner makes a request for non-sexual touch first, such as a back scratch, foot massage, or face stroking. Partners take turns in the giving and receiving role, allowing at least 20 minutes for each rotation. For a solo ritual, incorporate self massage or try stoking yourself with a flower or a feather.

  5. Awaken Eros. Then, take a moment to speak into your sexual desires. Allow each partner to voice the stimulation they desire to give and receive. Create space for boundaries and negotiation, as both partners feel into their authentic and full bodied yes! For solo ritual, allow your self-pleasure to be intuitively led - try approaching your genitals in new ways!

  6. Extend your pleasure. Let go of focus on orgasm and allow energy to come in waves. Use your breath and intention to move the sexual energy into your heart space and crown.

  7. Come (cum) home to your intention. Pair your heightened state of being with your desires for life and love. Speak them out loud with your partner (or alone). Take a moment to share gratitude for your partner (and yourself!), honoring eachother as divine beings. Consider taking a nice hot shower or bath to close your ritual.

Are you ready to let go of limiting beliefs, shame, guilt, & fear so you can alchemize your pleasure for healing & manifestation?​ Receive a free Sacred Sexuality & Pleasure Positive Guided Meditation.

For 1:1 support in creating a tantric lifestyle apply to Work With Me.

If you'd like to dive deeper into all things tantra listen to the podcast...

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