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  • Writer's pictureLeola

Becoming a Pleasure Priestess

Updated: Aug 19, 2023

Like it or not, sexual energy is the fabric of our existence. It is the most powerful energy on the

planet, and simultaneously the energy we misunderstand most. Sex created me. It created you.

It created everyone you know. Every human, plant, and animal on the Earth is the product of

sex. Look around you know. Seriously. Turn your head the full 90 degrees left, and then 90

degrees right. I’ll bet that nearly everything you see in your midst was either directly created by

sex OR was created by someone or something that resulted from a procreative act.


Sexual energy (also known as life force, chi, and kundalini) literally touches every part of your

life, so when you reclaim and liberate your relationship to it, your whole life changes. You are

getting to the root of your existence. When we reclaim our eroticism we are able to channel it

into a liberation from pain, find deep trust in the divinity of life, and live abundantly. When we

master our life force energy, we are able to bring it into every moment, so that we are turned on

by life itself.



My journey with sexual liberation was born of my own sexual assault and adjacent traumas. I

grew up in a fairly conservative small town in Missouri. Despite the traditional values of my

elders and leaders, I was a highly sexual kid. I recall masturbating to Austin Powers and Alotta

Fagina in the hot tub when I was 4 or 5. In my preteen years, I’d stay up late and sneak into the

living room to watch reruns of The History of Sex on The History Channel. I made sure to have

the “previous channel” button preset to Spongebob or some other inane children’s show, just in

case my Dad came around the corner.


Sex was always taboo in my house, as was true intimacy and vulnerability. I didn’t feel

comfortable to share my emotions or talk about my desires with my parents. I withheld the

confusion of my changing body and the equally pleasing and disturbing way men began to look

at me. This led to a lot of blind experimentation throughout my teens and early 20s. I

courageously put myself in a lot of dangerous situations in the attempt to explore, understand

my pleasure, and find “prince charming”. In the process, I experienced many non-consensual

sexual acts and violence, including rape and sexual assault. For a long time, I felt like I needed

to explain myself. To validate my wholeness. Even to apologize for my trauma. To say, “I’ve

been sexually assaulted,” gave me lots of fear. It made me feel damaged - unloveable. In so

many ways I blamed myself, as many survivors do.This story is not uncommon. I am not alone.

It breaks my heart AND this pain became my purpose. This mess became my message.

Because it’s not just me AND it’s not just those that were raped, verbally assaulted, trafficked,

forced upon, groped, or otherwise that suffer. We ALL are living an epidemic of disconnection.

As a collective we are completely ignorant of the sacredness of sexuality and the power of true

intimacy. My own trauma has inspired me to help others remember the truth and love of our life

force.


My path began in my early 20s, as the self-help and meditation industries boomed. I was totally

on board with the affirmations, morning routines, positive thoughts, and daily yoga classes. But

it only got me so far. I felt the instinctually pull deeper, into my darkness - into my pussy, my

womb, my creative energy.


The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I had just come out of a 4 year

relationship & was miserable in every way. I had been slowly coming to the realization that the “American Dream” was less than dreamy. I had suffered and not addressed numerous

experiences of nonconsensual touch. I had no idea what I really wanted to do with my life. And

my body confused me. Lucky for me, I found a new lover who introduced me to tantra. He

wasn’t a particularly special man. He certainly wasn’t my normal type. He was short… older…

average. But he had great style and there was something magnetic about him. I pulled the

thread right into his bed and it blew my mind. It was the first time I felt so connected to someone

while having sex AND I experienced my first penetrative orgasms. Previously, I could only

climax from external clitoral stimulation. The sex itself wasn’t even that revolutionary. It was

simple and loving. It involved more eye contact than I was used to and some breathing together.

What stands out the most was the pure energy - the unspoken intention he brought to the table.

I would intuitively carry these foundations of tantra into future couplings and started reading

articles online every once in a while to learn new techniques. I read about using intention and

breath to circulate energy in my body and with my partner. The first time I tried this with a

boyfriend, I didn’t tell him what I was doing, but I had my very first full-body orgasm. It was bliss.

In those early days, I was really only into tantra for the cool sex tricks. It wasn’t until a couple

years later that I began to research and understand the history, philosophy, and healing

capabilities of tantra.


What really resonated with me about tantra is the recognition that there is a physical world and

a spiritual world, and there is an energy that connects them - sexual energy. But it wasn’t until 6

years after my first tantra experience that I would accidentally become a practitioner. Over the

years, I began adopting and exploring more and more aspects of living a tantric lifestyle. The

more I leaned into the practice and philosophies, the more fun, abundant, and pleasurable life

became. As I healed my relationship to my life force energy, my whole life changed. And people

started to notice.


I had become magnetic - friends, family members, and clients came to me curious about what I

was doing. I excitedly offered what worked for me and it totally resonated with them. It wasn’t

until one particular breakthrough with a dear friend that I finally awakened to my purpose of

sharing this message more proactively.


One night, after a hot tub skinny dip, I offered to give Alexander* a massage. Alexander had

originally hired me as a model for a hobby art project, but we became fast friends. He was a bit

older and very successful in the tech industry. He was an immigrant who had one of those

American-dream-come-true stories. Before that night he had served as a bit of a mentor, having

been such an inspiration for potential success, despite being the underdog.


I had him lay on his back. I massaged and connected with the energetic channel running from

his perineum to the crown of his head, known in tantra as the kundalini chakra system. I held his

cock and balls with the heel of my hand planted on his root. I held his heart with my other hand.

I told him I sensed a blockage in his heart chakra. The heart chakra is the home of the inner

child and unconditional love. He began sobbing, as he recounted being abandoned by his mom

as a young boy. It was a glorious breakthrough in vulnerability from a man who was normally all

business and avoidant emotionally. I held him as he moved the emotion (energy in motion) out

of his body, creating space in his heart.


The next morning, Alexander messaged me in gratitude sharing the immense relief and

expansion he felt from our impromptu tantric bodywork. He confessed after decades of therapy,

working with psychedelic practitioners, and other energy workers, he had never experienced

anything like it. He then digitally sent me $1000, and said I deserved to be paid at the rate he

paid his therapist for the results I created in our few hours together. He then requested another

“session” later in the month.


I spiralled. I don’t do “sessions” - what is he talking about? Was that sex work? Am I a sex

worker? Wow, that’s a lot of money. I don’t deserve it. I have no formal training. I can’t tell

anyone about this. It was so easy! I’m so ashamed. But I’m good at it! Whatever “it” is… It was a

one time thing. I definitely won’t do it again. Might as well enjoy the unexpected cash flow and

go on with my life.


But then Alexander managed to convince me to join him in Tahoe a few weeks later to enjoy the

scenery and take a few photos. When I got there he claimed he “forgot” his camera. We did

another tantra session. It was very different, yet equally powerful. The next morning, he

coached me on my potential. He told me how much the world needed my gift. He told me he

would refer all his friends and I’d be booked out as a tantric bodyworker immediately. Something

was coming alive within me. For the first time ever, I felt truly seen.


But I still couldn’t really see myself. There were a lot of metaphorical cobwebs in the mirror. I got

to look hard and long at why I was so afraid to commit to a path that had evidence of such

healing and transformation.


And so I did. 3.5 years later, I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals and couples, host sold out

retreats, and run a top Tantra Podcast with over150k downloads. I proudly call myself a

Pleasure Priestess. I’m all in on this gloriously endless path of self-love, expression, and

healing. And I’m all in on helping you get there too.


Do it from divine love,

Leola


PS: Wanting support in sexual liberation OR becoming a pleasure priestess? Consider enrolling me as your personal cheerleader!


PSS: Desiring like-minded and sexually-liberated community? Check out my upcoming events.


* names have been changed

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